Ahmadinejad to World: You Guys Are So Gullible

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Tehran, Iran- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, President of Iran, caused a great deal of confusion on Tuesday when he began laughing uncontrollably during an impassioned speech titled “The Holocaust: Really?”

After catching his breath and wiping tears from his eyes Ahmadinejad explained to the baffled members of the press that his maniacal persona was nothing more than an act.

“I was just messing with you this whole time,” said the overjoyed Iranian President, shaking his head in disbelief, “You guys are so gullible.”

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who has been viewed by many as an unstable, tyrannical leader since his election in 2005, admits that he was merely “trying to get a rise out of the world” and did not realize that “the Earth’s population would not be able to take a joke.”

Those closest to the President are not surprised of the lengths Ahmadinejad has gone for the sake of a joke.

“Oh yeah he does stuff like this all the time,” said Mohammad Hossein Saffar-Harandi, one of Ahmadinejad’s top advisers. “Like this one time when asked about the treatment of gay people in Iran he tells them that Iran doesn’t have gay people like in America…pure comedy gold…I don’t know how he comes with this stuff.” He added “If you guys ever met my uncle Farrokh you would clearly know that A-jad [Ahmadinejad] was kidding…Let’s just say my uncle doesn’t mind that women are forbidden from attending men’s football matches.”

Ahmadinejad admits that he would like to have kept the act going for a few more years while he worked on some of his newer characters, but is still hopeful that he will be able to bring the character to Japan, where they are not yet familiar with his body of work.

“I can’t believe I kept a straight face this whole time,” Ahmadinejad said as he wiped tears from his smiling face. “Can you imagine if I was really like that…Oh my God, that would be nuts.”

 

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President Bush to American People: “Are You Guys Still Mad at Me?”

 

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George W. Bush gave an emotional speech Tuesday while waiving a miniature American flag the entire time.

This week former president George W. Bush addressed the American people in what many are calling the strangest former presidential oration in the history of the United States.

“Why are you making that face?” Mr. Bush said as he looked out at the stunned crowd. “It seems like you’re mad at me and I don’t know why…No, really are you guys mad, because I dont like when people are mad at me.” The speech would go on to include four minutes of wiping his nose, eight minutes “trying to get something out his eye,” and fourteen minutes hugging surprised members of the crowd. When asked if there was any legitimacy to Bush’s claims, the oddly in sync crowd responded in unison “we’re not mad at George, we’re just dissapointed.”